[Do the following when you can do so naturally.]
- Become interested in others.
- Smile [find humor in things].
- Use a person’s name.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Winning people to your way of thinking.
- Avoid arguments.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never tell him he’s wrong.
- Admit where you are wrong.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying ‘yes, yes’ soon. Focus on similarities, positives.
- Let the other person do a lot of the talking.
- Let him feel the idea is his.
- Try to see it from his point of view.
- Be sympathetic with his ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Make a challenge.
Changing people without giving offense or arousing resentment.
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to their mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes.
- Ask questions.
- Let the other man save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and each one.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Encourage him – make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
from Dale Carnegie (parts were paraphrased)
